The State of Love Today

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT!!!!! THESE ARE MY OPINIONS!!!

So I know the other day was Vday & I hope everyone enjoyed it. Had my Valentine yet was a lil upset she was in another city at this time.

But I just wanted to type something thats been on my mind. What is the state of Love these days?? Im starting to wonder is love unconditional or is it conditional. If you know about my city of Hot Springs, its a semi-small city. But even in general for Arkansans, people often ask me Why do Arkansans marry earlier than other people?? I think it goes back to when Chris Rock said himself “People are only as faithful as their options”. I know this blog is not really about cheating, but someone have told me that Arkansans dont have much options for finding someone. Also that people just jump into relationships here because their either bored or desperate. Which lays into as a society, do we date & marry because its who we want or who we “need”?? Its like a rapper or a singer, sometimes there really is a difference between doing it for the money/fame & doing it because you LOVE it

I have a former coworker I ran into during Christmas shopping last year, found out he gotten promoted to assistant manager. Since sometime during 2009, he has dated a girl that we helped trained in 09. She has a daughter & I think after the 1st 2-3 months, not only they started to live w/ each other, they co-signed on a car together. So fast forward to when I ran into him in Dec 2011, he still staying w/ her, I asked if he was gonna marry her, he said no & he said he wasnt the marrying type. Also, last year during my 2nd job, I met this girl that was once staying w/ her now ex-bf for over 2 years & even had kids w/ him, now she finally has that apartment for herself & her 4 kids.

Even when we see celebs w/ their significate others, we might have to wonder is it for love, for money, or just for fame. When Kobe broke up w/ his wife, people was saying Oh Kobe cheated through all this. But if you noticed w/ Kobe, Tony Parker, Tiger Woods, and a few others, these women left when their careers and/or their teams start declining. So would these women still be w/ these people if they had championship years now?? We will never know......................

But my thing is that if you are in love & want to be w/ someone, make sure you want to be w/ them because you really LOVE them, not because you may need them for something. If you just need them for something such as being lonely, attention, or money, even if you get what you want, how do you know you want to stay once you get what you wanted?? Thats why you gotta love yourself & be able to do for yourself first.

Also, when you get w/ someone, its best to have that friend zone first. I've seen a lot of people just jump into a relationship yet they dont trust that other person but they STILL want to stay w/ that person. Now w/ having a friend zone first, You are able to build trust w/ someone, they will understand who you are & you would understand who they are. With the friend zone, you would understand each other's limitations on what you will & will not take, AND you have a better understanding if you want to escalate the friendship into a relationship or it they are a waste of time for you. Now if you are one of those that have gotten hurt by someone, maybe you need to have some time to yourself or even get some help so you wont have to think everyone is the same & you wont think the next person is just as bad as the previous, you have to remember God made us like his image but we are all different.

Finally, I think that too many of us are afraid to be ourselves, its basically having a rep for you when we first meet that person then the real person comes out when the relationship is solidfied. But I somewhat understand, for some people, you might get results you want faster when you being fake than when you being yourself. I know it might be hard, but would you rather have something wrong now or have something great in the long run?? And sometimes you gotta let love happen, bad results happen when you try to rush, and I KNOW that there are some people that rush to cover their flaws or rush to say to themselves that theres nothing wrong w/ them, if you are one of those people, you might have to deal w/ your issues before you jump into something. Dont expect to just jump into a relationship thinking the other person gonna fix your issues or be the only one to make things interesting in it. Dont have certain expectations for the other person that you cant meet yourself.

If I miss some points/things, this stuff is coming off the top of my dome. Overall, Learn to love yourself first & handle your business, and things will follow. If you gonna love, love for the right reasons, If you are w/ someone for the wrong reasons, its gonna show one day.

Happy V-Day/My 100th Blog

In Honor of my 100th Blog, as well as in Honor of Valentines Day, decided to do some of my favorite love songs:


Johnny Gill – There you Go



Johnny Gill – Lets Just Run Away


Silk - Ebony Eyes


Will Downing | I Can't Help It.


Mike Phillips – Wonderful & Special


Trey Songz - In The Middle


Portrait – Precious Moments


Seal – Kiss from a Rose

First blog of February..........Never mind its the 2nd

So Congrats on everyone that made it through the 1st month of 2012. I know there have been some crazy things that happened but we made it. So the things thats been keeping me busy like I said earlier was helping to train in Foreclosure Prevention. The presentation I did last month did well, so Im gonna be putting in studying & helping people that come into the office. They want me to go through some online training yet the org that holds these trainings hold four conferences a year, this month in Los Angeles but too late to go, but they gonna have a conference in New Orleans in May so Im looking into that, I already applied for a grant last week to go so Im waiting to hear back from the company that gives them.

But also I have applied for a 2nd job for the summer, just to make some extra money on the side. The same place I worked last summer when I helped out w/ planning of their festivities. It being a bartender on the evenings & weekends, dont really know much about summer travels, but its something interesting. I have the position yet they want me to apply for a clerk position for the evenings & weekends as well so I might go back on Thursday to interview.

But with this month, might look for something to get into for Black History Month. Now for Valentine's Day, might go ahead & do some Vday shopping. I have a close friend in Memphis that I want to buy something for, we have been talking on the phone for months & I just want to do something for her, just dont know what yet.

Thats about it for now, hope everyone has a great weekend, and hopefully I have something deeper to talk about next time

Who are you??

I was watching a video on Youtube about having the power to be yourself in this world. It just got me thinking; do people today actually know what they themselves like? Is what we like based off of what we like or someone else?? I thought of some things on myself & heres what I came up w/ so far:

1)I like gummi worms
2)I like sports video games
3)Im working on being a cleaner person
4)I hate Leprechaun & Final Destination movies
5)Im sometimes horrible at being a romatic guy, especially at choosing movies for a date
6)I never drink coffee in the morning
7)I am a proud Dallas Cowboys fan
8)Key colors I like to wear: Black, Blue, & Brown
9)Love V-Neck shirts
10) Like to wear the sweater over a dress shirt design

Many more things, but Im just giving out some examples. Some people in this world have that problem of thinking for themselves. They see one person having it, they want to copy it. God built us differently, but he also gave us the ability to think for ourselves. And if we cant really think for ourselves, isnt that being handicapped?? Dont worry about if people dont like what you like, people are meant to have different opinions, if they dont like you for you, I guarantee that theres someone out there thats gonna like you for you.

Been busy, but hope to be back on here w/ updates on whats going on in life. Be Blessed!!