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You are NOT the father, yet you still gonna pay for it

So the other day, I was going over some Youtube videos and I came up on this one:






I really think this is a messed up situation, having the court make you pay for a child that not yours. 2 Things come to mind:

1) The women involved. Would a woman really want to take child support from a man that is NOT the father of the child in question?

2) The Biological Father. Where is this guy?? How would he feel about another man taking care of his child? Does he know he has a child with this woman?

But is this a way for the governing system to save money on public assistance? I know that a man has to be there to take care of his child, but have we been desperate enough in our country to where we will pin the responsibility on other men? Just some random thoughts………….

Over the Time

So I know I have been busy w/ some stuff. That last blog I did about the Homeowners Workshop, Im helping to do one this weekend, just now Im having my hand in more stuff.

Didn’t say much about Thanksgiving but it was interesting. In all, I think I went down to Texarkana a day too early. Or I should have stayed at a hotel. Got there Tuesday morning, I was moving furniture, helping cooking, & running errands. Mom & sis didn’t come down because of work & my sis wanted to spend the holiday w/ the boyfriend. So Wednesday morning, my aunt wanted me to go from sleeping on the bed to sleeping on the couch. I was on the bed Tuesday, then Wednesday, she changed the sheets & pillows so her daughter & her boyfriend could have the bed. Thursday was a good day, The Cowboys & Texas Longhorns both won that day, yet Friday went downhill. My aunt who wanted me to do all that stuff for her, left out early that morning & didn’t even wake me up to say goodbye. Me & my cousins watch Ark vs. LSU that day, only to see LSU blow out Ark. We had so many people in for Thanksgiving dinner Thursday night, we didn’t have any food leftover for the next night so we bought our own food. Also, we were supposed to have went to this club in Shreveport, yet we couldn’t because we didn’t have a designated driver. Everyone basically left on Saturday, so I left on Saturday. Overall, it was a cool feeling, but I still need to shake that feeling that Im getting treated differently from the others, like Im still being treated like a child even when I show that respect & have accomplished things in my life.

But back to my job, my sup was happy with what I did in the last presentation, so she has me doing more stuff. This weekend I had to redo the brochure for the presentation, also this week gonna be busy because people gonna want a slot for this presentation, especially those that want to become homeowners. Also today, Im having to look over some stuff to possibly submit a grant proposal for 2012. But the good thing is that I have deeper experience & if I really do stick in Ark for 2012, I’ll be fully in training to become a financial coach rather than just an assistant.

But let me leave you all w/ something for the start of the week:

Saving & Doing what you have to do

So the weekend was good & it was business (and more) as usual. Been doing both work & some community service. My sis is doing well, have her 2nd basketball game coming up on Monday. So for Thanksgiving, Im going to Texarkana w/ the family, want to actually go back to the city w/o having to deal w/ death this time. I was planning to go to New Orleans for the classic first, but my cousin who stays in Baton Rouge says she wanted to meet up in Texarkana saying we have a “tradition” we have every year. My aunt & uncle are already in Texarkana, Im trying to get my paid days off so I can make it there Tuesday morning.

So on Saturday, I got to help out w/ a Homeowner workshop for people that were interested in buying a home for themselves. Ive been working w/ this woman who works at a Housing Department, been helping her set up her presentation most of last week. She have been trying to recruit me to be a financial consultant/coach, to try & help people bring their credit scores up & make sure they are able to put themselves on the right budget. But when I saw the presentation as it was presented, I learned a few things. I learned that you really do have to learn to save your money. Also, make sure you know your resources. For each person that completed this class this past weekend, they have gotten a certificate of completion. When they show that certain certificate & if they have that right credit score, they are able to get a soft loan to cover both the down payment & closing costs of up to $10,000, and if they live in their house for 5 years, they don’t have to pay off that loan. But also there were 18 people in this class, and of that 18, there were 6 black people, all women. Talked to the trainer, she told me that not many black men in my age bracket are looking to buying houses because we are comfortable where we are. So for myself, I know I got work to do, but I want to make adjustments to myself to try to own a home in the next few years.

(Written on last week, edited a bit)VVV

So the Saturday before, I ended up going to a friend’s house and we kicked it a bit, and also got to head downtown. This is a friend that I once worked w/ at my 2nd job. Flashback to Monday, during lunch, I picked up my check from my 2nd job & I ran into my homie. He showed me his check, it really wasn’t much because the government took half of his check for child support. Back to Saturday night, I talked to homie & he said he was gonna go out on Tuesday to buy the new Assassin’s Creed (Its for xbox 360 so its around $50-60). But the last check he gotten from that job was his last one, that only job was seasonal. But then what he tells me is that his daughter is coming in Thanksgiving weekend to see him.

I understand that we are in hard times, yet if you not making those necessary steps to improving yourself, you could be the blame for you in certain situations. I think that some of us just don’t put our needs in front of our wants. Its that we avoid what we NEED to do. Like my homie did, he knew there were things that needed to be done, yet he putting things on hold just for a video game, and from what I heard, he had a bitch-fit because he didn’t go get the game on that day it came out. But if you gonna try to improve your situation, know what your priorities are.


But I hope everyone has a great Holiday & drive carefully

Drew Brees' Coming Back Stronger (quotes)

I just finished reading Coming Back Stronger & I liked the book. If you dont know who Drew Brees is, he presently is the starting QB for the New Orleans Saints. Years ago, he had played for the San Diego Chargers, but suffered a season ending injury. He was supposed to have been the future of that franchise but it got to where people were saying he was never gonna throw a football ever again because of that injury. Instead of signing back w/ his team, who because of the injury wanted him to become a backup, he ended up going through a harsh rehab & signs w/ the Saints, a city at that time going through a rebuilding process because of Katrina. Four years later, Brees wins a championship w/ the Saints. But what you learn from this book is that sometimes when we go through certain things in life, there are gonna be times where people count us out, but will YOU count yourself out or work harder to comeback?? Here are some interesting quotes from the book that I loke & thought they were key:


"It is the fear of failure that drives you, but it is visualizing sucess that gives you the positive mind-set & confidence to feel like you can accomplish anything" - D. Brees

"One of the worst things you can do when you've been laid low is to try to come back too quickly. You have to see the truth about your situation & accept it in order to heal right & then return stronger. You need to learn the lessons while you're still down in order to put yourself in the position to make a comeback" - D. Brees

"Trust is the cornerstone of every meaningful relationship" - Marty Schottenheimer

"The most important game of the season is always the next one" - D. Brees

The worst thing that could happen in life is not getting knocked down; its getting knocked down & then staying down

Commitment is when you refuse to give yourself an excuse

The greatest opportunities in life are the ones that test us the most

Our 7th Sigmaversary

On October 29th 2004 at 4:40 am, The Delta Nu Chapter of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc crossed 10 men into the distinguished brotherhood. 7 years have passed & Im still cool w/ all these guys & learned something different from them before, during, & after we pledged together. Wish I was back in Memphis to kick it w/ them.



1) Calvin Bell
2) Steve Anderson
3) KeAnthony Potter
4) Joseph "Tank" Jackson
5) Jarrid Johnson
6) Justin Jones
7) Brandon Stokes
8) Brandon Davis
9) Gionni Carr
10) Duane Erwin

My Pet Peeve

The weather has officially changed & I brought out the fall/winter clothes. I'm actually typing this in my Memphis hoodie. So this weekend is gonna be my last weekend working my 2nd job, I know its gonna be packed & Im just ready to get this weekend over with. My lil sis cheered last night as the 9th grade team played Nashville (AR), they lost but the team had a winning season. She gonna be cheering w/ varsity next weekend & then bball season will be starting.

So I just have been thinking about one of my pet peeves & it might be bothering me because it may have an affect on my relationship w/ my mom. The key pet peeve for me is when people ask me questions THEN hit the point, I usually want you to get straight to the point instead of asking questions to get to the point. So basically it messes me a bit when some says "Im just asking". But w/ my mom, there are 2 things Im worried about: 1) She may use my answers for a favor and/or 2) She may tell her friends about what Im doing. 2 examples:

1) When I was dating my ex a while back, I was considering moving back to Memphis. My mom talked to me & I said I MIGHT see about staying w/ her but wanted my own place. A few days later, I went to my mom's workplace & almost EVERYONE there questioned me about possibly moving in w/ my girl.

2) Morning call w/ Mom:

Mom: What you doing today?
Me: Something, whats wrong?
Mom: Im Just Asking
Me: Whats up?
Mom: IM JUST ASKING
Me: Im doing nothing
Mom: Well, could you watch your sister today??

Maybe its just me, I dont know...........

But me & mom almost got into it over the phone last night; it took my mom 5 questions for her just to ask me 1 simple question.


But just keeping it short & sweet today. Gonna go to the store when I get off to do some costume shopping. But Before I go, I want to leave 2 tunes Im trying to put on my new phone, havent decided which one would be my new ringtone:


JayZ - I know




Lords of the Underground - Chief Rocka