Hot Day, Hot Day, Hot Day, would take my shirt off yet dont want the ladies to fall out from my hotness LMAO...........
I thank God for work having an AC.......
Just started to check out this coverage of Obama trying to find a solution to this Debt crisis in the US. I notice that a lot of people trying to jump on him, but why jump on him for something that other presidents have swept under the rug?? It does prove at times that when some people do say something about a problem no one else is trying to fix, they tend to get wrongfully blasted. I fully dont know if Obama's plan gonna work just yet, yet I'll give him credit for some type of effort. How as a country we gonna coach people about not being in debt yet our government is in debt itself??
In other news, in less than 48 hours, Im just finding out that Trey Songs in Texas Chainsaw 3D, Freddy Krueger is gonna be in Mortal Kombat, & Robin Williams in the new Batman movie, didnt see any of this coming
My little sister's Cheerleader Squad is selling ads for the Hot Springs High Football programs this fall. If you or anyone knows of a business that interested in their name out there, let me know, email is MrJohnson5@hotmail.com
But just a lil joke from my sister last night:
A man goes to a store & buys a lying machine, every time someone lies, the machine slaps them. So he goes home & tries it out on his son. "Son, did you go to school today??" Son replies Yes but the machine slaps him. The father asks again & the son says he went to the movies. "What did you see?" said the father. The son said Toy Story & the machine slapped him. The father ask the question again & the son said he went to see a porn flick. The father said "WHAT?? I have never even seen or heard porn when I was your age", Then the machine slaps the father. The mother hears the whole thing & says "Hahahahaha, yup he is your son." The machine slaps the mother..........
With the song challenge today, its about the song that makes me happy, I usually have different ones but the one that does it for me consistently is a throwback one I heard from an old movie.
Issac Hayes – Café Regio
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Life of the Cell Phone
So I was talking to a friend of mine, he had this touch screen that wasn’t working for him. He kept arguing about it from time to time . One day I just up & asked him Have you got the phone checked out by the store?? He tells me no & I told him to just go get it checked out. A few days later, he goes to the store, the phone gets fixed, all it needed was an update.
If not many of you know, over a a year ago, I used to work as a lab trainer for sprint customer service. Although Im long gone, I still respect the people that work there. But I just wanted to share some things that I learned that might help some people out:
Read your manual. Some of us have it where we just get it right out the box & play w/ it, but there may be things you don’t know of that phone.
READ YOUR BILL!!! I remember I had a lot of people call about why their bill was high when they had their bill sent to them all along. If you decide to get your bill through email or you want go paperless, its still your responsibility to know how much you owe & the company was more than happy to give you that breakdown in writing
If you ever start your service for the first time, you may see that the bill is high & you see part of the bill & a month in advance. Think of it like rent for an apartment, usually there will be a pro-ration charge & you may be paying a month in advance each month
If you have multiple lines, pay attention to who uses the phones on your account. I remember I had one woman who tried to argue w/ the phone company because her child in college downloaded games w/o her knowing, which brings me to………
If you have kids w/ cell phones on your plan, PLEASE watch them, and if you see charges on their phone #, hold them accountable, don’t blast the phone company.
If you have insurance on your phone, its like auto insurance, you might have a deductible, cost depending on the phone. I remember that the higher price phone may require an Affidavit or proof you went to the police, some people may get mad about that, but why would you not want to go to the police about a stolen $400-500 phone???
If the store tells you to call the phone company’s service to receive a credit, chances are they are just trying to wash their hands. Most of the time the store has the ability to give you that credit at the store, they just don’t want the credit to go against them. Usually there is a communication gap between The store, telecommunications, and customer service. If any of the 3 promises you something, remember to get their names & if they say that someone else is going to give it, ask them why they cant do it & you might need to talk to their manager for promising something they themselves cant give you
I Highly recommend testing out phones at the store before you decide to buy online or over the phone
If something does happen to your phone, CALL ASAP, the phone company may help w/ the problem, yet may not take responsibility for the time you waited to call a problem in.
Finally, make sure you research the service before you actually take it. People often will say their service is bad yet they will love their phone, almost like being in a relationship w/ a bad person but you sticking around because of the good sex. Be honest w/ yourself, if you can’t afford the service, go prepaid. Its better to have a prepaid phone that’s gonna stay on than it is to have a big time company cut you off at anytime.
But I do respect the people that do customer service over the phone, even when some outside people say they bad sometimes. And some people dont even know what these people go through. Did you know that usually when a new phone comes out, the company may train the reps in one day, yet the rep may never even get to touch the new phone?? The company's "logo" was The Only Thing Constant is Change" yet I saw because they changed their minds about a lot of things & not much was in concrete. Although I left, some of the people there was just on my mind. Have a nice day............
If not many of you know, over a a year ago, I used to work as a lab trainer for sprint customer service. Although Im long gone, I still respect the people that work there. But I just wanted to share some things that I learned that might help some people out:
Read your manual. Some of us have it where we just get it right out the box & play w/ it, but there may be things you don’t know of that phone.
READ YOUR BILL!!! I remember I had a lot of people call about why their bill was high when they had their bill sent to them all along. If you decide to get your bill through email or you want go paperless, its still your responsibility to know how much you owe & the company was more than happy to give you that breakdown in writing
If you ever start your service for the first time, you may see that the bill is high & you see part of the bill & a month in advance. Think of it like rent for an apartment, usually there will be a pro-ration charge & you may be paying a month in advance each month
If you have multiple lines, pay attention to who uses the phones on your account. I remember I had one woman who tried to argue w/ the phone company because her child in college downloaded games w/o her knowing, which brings me to………
If you have kids w/ cell phones on your plan, PLEASE watch them, and if you see charges on their phone #, hold them accountable, don’t blast the phone company.
If you have insurance on your phone, its like auto insurance, you might have a deductible, cost depending on the phone. I remember that the higher price phone may require an Affidavit or proof you went to the police, some people may get mad about that, but why would you not want to go to the police about a stolen $400-500 phone???
If the store tells you to call the phone company’s service to receive a credit, chances are they are just trying to wash their hands. Most of the time the store has the ability to give you that credit at the store, they just don’t want the credit to go against them. Usually there is a communication gap between The store, telecommunications, and customer service. If any of the 3 promises you something, remember to get their names & if they say that someone else is going to give it, ask them why they cant do it & you might need to talk to their manager for promising something they themselves cant give you
I Highly recommend testing out phones at the store before you decide to buy online or over the phone
If something does happen to your phone, CALL ASAP, the phone company may help w/ the problem, yet may not take responsibility for the time you waited to call a problem in.
Finally, make sure you research the service before you actually take it. People often will say their service is bad yet they will love their phone, almost like being in a relationship w/ a bad person but you sticking around because of the good sex. Be honest w/ yourself, if you can’t afford the service, go prepaid. Its better to have a prepaid phone that’s gonna stay on than it is to have a big time company cut you off at anytime.
But I do respect the people that do customer service over the phone, even when some outside people say they bad sometimes. And some people dont even know what these people go through. Did you know that usually when a new phone comes out, the company may train the reps in one day, yet the rep may never even get to touch the new phone?? The company's "logo" was The Only Thing Constant is Change" yet I saw because they changed their minds about a lot of things & not much was in concrete. Although I left, some of the people there was just on my mind. Have a nice day............
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Live humping on Wed/ 30 Day Song Challenge - Day 2
So I had an ok night, except I fell asleep last night & woke up around 3ish. Got to talk to my lil sis yesterday, she now telling me my old coach has been trying to get her to talk to me w/ helping out the football team this fall. I was a former outside linebacker so I hope coach still runs the same system as when I left almost 10 years ago (I played in both a 4-3 and a 3-4 defense). But I was supposed to have watched Cedar Rapids last night but fell asleep. I woke up & had a craving for green beans & potatoes so I cooked that & watched Dazed & Confused, nothing really was on tv.
So Im hearing that one year from today, The Dark Knight Rises comes out, I wonder if it can top the last Batman, remember, dude actually killed himself just so he could play that role of the Joker. Just seen the trailer, I had to wipe my glasses but did I see Robin Williams in the movie?? And I also seeing they are bringing Morgan Freeman's character back as well, I thought he quit.
New Batman Trailer
So w/ the 30 Day Song Challenge (Day 2), It has to be the least fav song. 2 came to mind, one was call What What in the Butt, I heard it on South Park w/ the kids, but then someone told me it was an actual song & pulled it up on youtube. The other was one I slipped up on while watching BET Uncut. Its basically a mixed guy talking about being w/ white girls:
Mighty Casey - White Girls
Hope the rest of the day goes well. Gotten a call from mom wanting me to come over again, she said she cooking lemon pepper chicken & rice tonight so I actually get a break from cooking.
So Im hearing that one year from today, The Dark Knight Rises comes out, I wonder if it can top the last Batman, remember, dude actually killed himself just so he could play that role of the Joker. Just seen the trailer, I had to wipe my glasses but did I see Robin Williams in the movie?? And I also seeing they are bringing Morgan Freeman's character back as well, I thought he quit.
New Batman Trailer
So w/ the 30 Day Song Challenge (Day 2), It has to be the least fav song. 2 came to mind, one was call What What in the Butt, I heard it on South Park w/ the kids, but then someone told me it was an actual song & pulled it up on youtube. The other was one I slipped up on while watching BET Uncut. Its basically a mixed guy talking about being w/ white girls:
Mighty Casey - White Girls
Hope the rest of the day goes well. Gotten a call from mom wanting me to come over again, she said she cooking lemon pepper chicken & rice tonight so I actually get a break from cooking.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
30 Day Song Challenge - Day 1
So a friend of mine who has a blog on here ,Miss Dre, posted a blog about a challenge, I thought I might try it, may just give me some more stuff to type about, if you want to join in on your blog, be my guest:
Day 01 – Your favorite song
Day 02 – Your least favorite song
Day 03 – A song that makes you happy
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 – A song that describes you
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year
Day 1 - Favorite song
I have a few, took me a min to really think about it. I was thinking What would be my theme song if I was in a movie?? But decided on a song that I loved the longest, been hearing it since I was about 11 or 12.
Electric Relaxation - A Tribe Called Quest
Just got through finishing up some work here. I usually BS online when I get through w/ all my work here. I'm heading to my mom's house when I leave out here to talk to my lil sis on how was her 1st day of cheerleader practice. Which reminds me, I told her I would download her some HBCU band tracks for her that she wanted.
Day 01 – Your favorite song
Day 02 – Your least favorite song
Day 03 – A song that makes you happy
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 – A song that describes you
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year
Day 1 - Favorite song
I have a few, took me a min to really think about it. I was thinking What would be my theme song if I was in a movie?? But decided on a song that I loved the longest, been hearing it since I was about 11 or 12.
Electric Relaxation - A Tribe Called Quest
Just got through finishing up some work here. I usually BS online when I get through w/ all my work here. I'm heading to my mom's house when I leave out here to talk to my lil sis on how was her 1st day of cheerleader practice. Which reminds me, I told her I would download her some HBCU band tracks for her that she wanted.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Prove Em Wrong
Had a good weekend, didnt really do anything, but need the time to regroup on some things. Still reading Play like you mean it by Rex Ryan, its a good book so far, halfway through it. I saw that USA Women's Soccer lost to China in the Championship yesterday, They lost on penalty kicks. Im still proud of them, hope they can build off this for the near future. Found myself last night at a friend's house playing Assassin's Creed - Da Vinci Disappearance on xbox360, it was a good game, almost like a medieval version on Grand Theft Auto. I had frat hit me up as well if I wanted to ride w/ them to ATL for Conclave later this week so Im seeing if I can use my time off for the drive.
So this past week, I was chilling w/ a friend & was talking about him trying to get a new job after some stuff he was going through. His mom butts in & wanted me to talk to him about his attitude problem, keep in mind he is a year older than me. You see, he was going through some things & somehow he wound up living in the same house as his mom, grandmom, AND great-grandmother. It seem like him & his family are having arguments & they claim that he about to go the wrong path. Two things I shared w/ him that I know I need to talk about here:
One, If you have someone that’s making you upset or have screwed you over, don’t take your anger out on the people that’s trying to help you out. I know I had to cut people out of my life because they had things like their jobs or parents or whatnot giving them a hard time, but then they turn around and snap at their friends & coworkers that have done nothing wrong.
Two, if someone keep nagging about what you doing wrong, look at your life. These days we just fire off at people that give us negative feedback. Honestly, we just get mad because deep down we know they hit a point about something. The beauty of life is being able to prove people wrong through our actions, not by mouth. If someone says that you are not amount to anything, don’t just fire back, you can go out & prove them wrong to shut them up. Now I know you cant please everyone, but if you know you not being active & bettering yourself in life, someone might say something to you even if it may insult you.
In closing, when people talk, you dont have to listen, but when you do, learn to isolate BS from what is honest criticism. Also, if people are trying to help & not trying to hurt you, learn to be patient w/ them & just handle your business.
Im gone & Im thinking of just putting random videos up for enjoyment, just some songs & stuff that I like each time I blog.
Questionmark Asylum ft. Blackgirl - Hey look away
So this past week, I was chilling w/ a friend & was talking about him trying to get a new job after some stuff he was going through. His mom butts in & wanted me to talk to him about his attitude problem, keep in mind he is a year older than me. You see, he was going through some things & somehow he wound up living in the same house as his mom, grandmom, AND great-grandmother. It seem like him & his family are having arguments & they claim that he about to go the wrong path. Two things I shared w/ him that I know I need to talk about here:
One, If you have someone that’s making you upset or have screwed you over, don’t take your anger out on the people that’s trying to help you out. I know I had to cut people out of my life because they had things like their jobs or parents or whatnot giving them a hard time, but then they turn around and snap at their friends & coworkers that have done nothing wrong.
Two, if someone keep nagging about what you doing wrong, look at your life. These days we just fire off at people that give us negative feedback. Honestly, we just get mad because deep down we know they hit a point about something. The beauty of life is being able to prove people wrong through our actions, not by mouth. If someone says that you are not amount to anything, don’t just fire back, you can go out & prove them wrong to shut them up. Now I know you cant please everyone, but if you know you not being active & bettering yourself in life, someone might say something to you even if it may insult you.
In closing, when people talk, you dont have to listen, but when you do, learn to isolate BS from what is honest criticism. Also, if people are trying to help & not trying to hurt you, learn to be patient w/ them & just handle your business.
Im gone & Im thinking of just putting random videos up for enjoyment, just some songs & stuff that I like each time I blog.
Questionmark Asylum ft. Blackgirl - Hey look away
Friday, July 15, 2011
TGIF.........Or is it??
Had a bad start this morning yet still trying to stay positive. I was called up for a management position at another place yesterday so I got to take today off work. I was supposed to have gotten up but I ended up sleeping later than I wanted to because my alarm clock didnt go off this morning. So as I was rushing to make this interview, I get a call from the place saying that my interview was postponed because of certain people not being there. I left some clothes in the washer & when I put them in the dryer, the dryer wouldn't start, so my clothes are hanging in the bathroom drying. But I am trying to stay positive, because I did get to see today anyway, and today is the fist time I dont feel dirty because of sweating from the weather.
Diet Update: Just been trying to drink as much water as possible. With food, just been staying away from fast food. Have debated on going back to Hydroxycut yet been afraid of trying that new formula. Also been running almost every morning, I only run in the evening if needed, theres less attractions in the morning & its just me & my thoughts
Summer Update: Trying to head out to Missouri City/Houston on Aug 3rd, having to still keep in contact w/ my granddad on whats going on w/ the remodeling of his kitchen, heading down to do some handiwork & painting. Trying to see if I can swing in some time for Texas Greek Picnic weekend, may leave out on the 9th.
Still trying to figure out whats going on for the fall, know for certain that I may be taking some classes for my MBA. Also traveling wise, talking w/ frat from Lil Rock if they still going to the Bayou Classic again this year, also checking on flights to see about going to Howard Homecoming in October, but already seeing its not cheap. Other options are the HBCU Classics in St. Louis & Dallas, where I could visit family as well. I just signed up for some email updates for London 2012 for the Olympics, look like I’ll be trying to go there in August when the track & bball finals are happening.
Been banging some good music these past few days. I just downloaded the new mixtape from CampLo & Pete Rock, if you a fan of real Hip Hop, you gotta get it. Been a big fan of CampLo since I was about 13? When they brought out those Coolie High joints. I also mix it up & downloaded a new Rick Ross/Meek Mills tape, I heard the song they brought back Tupac Back, get you in that hype mode. But yeah, basically gonna keep it as Neo-Soul most of the time, yet I also saw that one of my fav Memphis Rappers bringing out Cocaine Muzik 6 soon.
Have some interesting things to talk about later on, heading out tonight, also having some interesting things & people that got to me about some stuff, Have a good weekend
Some recent music & stuff I found:
Diet Update: Just been trying to drink as much water as possible. With food, just been staying away from fast food. Have debated on going back to Hydroxycut yet been afraid of trying that new formula. Also been running almost every morning, I only run in the evening if needed, theres less attractions in the morning & its just me & my thoughts
Summer Update: Trying to head out to Missouri City/Houston on Aug 3rd, having to still keep in contact w/ my granddad on whats going on w/ the remodeling of his kitchen, heading down to do some handiwork & painting. Trying to see if I can swing in some time for Texas Greek Picnic weekend, may leave out on the 9th.
Still trying to figure out whats going on for the fall, know for certain that I may be taking some classes for my MBA. Also traveling wise, talking w/ frat from Lil Rock if they still going to the Bayou Classic again this year, also checking on flights to see about going to Howard Homecoming in October, but already seeing its not cheap. Other options are the HBCU Classics in St. Louis & Dallas, where I could visit family as well. I just signed up for some email updates for London 2012 for the Olympics, look like I’ll be trying to go there in August when the track & bball finals are happening.
Been banging some good music these past few days. I just downloaded the new mixtape from CampLo & Pete Rock, if you a fan of real Hip Hop, you gotta get it. Been a big fan of CampLo since I was about 13? When they brought out those Coolie High joints. I also mix it up & downloaded a new Rick Ross/Meek Mills tape, I heard the song they brought back Tupac Back, get you in that hype mode. But yeah, basically gonna keep it as Neo-Soul most of the time, yet I also saw that one of my fav Memphis Rappers bringing out Cocaine Muzik 6 soon.
Have some interesting things to talk about later on, heading out tonight, also having some interesting things & people that got to me about some stuff, Have a good weekend
Some recent music & stuff I found:
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Wedding/Party Crashing
Been a good day so far, work went well today, two things to keep in mind: 1) If you hug a woman w/ perfume on, chances are that perfume gonna rub off on you for a while & 2) If you are going to play a game in the office, PLEASE turn off the sound so you wont get caught.
But I was a lil bored, so wanted to do something on the fun side today. Ever since I watch Wedding Crashers a while back, I always wanted to do some wedding crashing, yet never had the time to do it, and of course Hot Springs is too small of a town. I remember when I crashed a party once, that should count; Back when I was living in Dallas, I was visiting downtown for Mardi Gras Dallas. I saw a appt complex that people were going in. On one of the floors we hit, there were 2 doors; 1 said "Private Party", another was the outside patio where they were having the party everyone was going to. So at the time I was a lil tipsy so I go in the door that says "Private Party". It was actually someone that was hosting a party. There were a lot of people there so I was able to blend in. I gotten a beer & then I check out the kitchen, nice for an appt complex, but next thing I knew I was the bartender for the party I crashed. There were professional people all older than me, I just said my name was Jarrid & I came here w/ a friend name Steve who was wondering around & I worked at a marketing firm in Mesquite & it was my 1st time experiencing Mardi Gras in Dallas. It was all good, gotten a few business cards, and met this lovely older woman who was going through a divorce yet we had a nice convo & she gave me her number.
But here are the rules I looked up online, if anyone is interested, hit me up, clothes sold separately lol.
• Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
• Rule #2: Never use your real name.
• Rule #3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.
• Rule #4: No one goes home alone.
• Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow crasher.
• Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
• Rule #7: Blend in by standing out.
• Rule #8: Be the life of the party.
• Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
• Rule #10: Invitations are for pussies.
• Rule #11: Sensitive is good.
• Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
• Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
• Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
• Rule #15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.
• Rule #16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.
• Rule #17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
• Rule #18: You love animals and children.
• Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
• Rule #20: The older the better, the younger the better (see Rule below)
• Rule #21: Definitely make sure she's
• 18.
• Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
• Rule #23: There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.
• Rule #24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.
• Rule #25: You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
• Rule #26: Of course you love her.
• Rule #27: Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
• Rule #28: Make sure there's an open bar.
• Rule #29: Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
• Rule #30: Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
• Rule #31: If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.
• Rule #32: Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
• Rule #33: Never go back to your place.
• Rule #34: Be gone by sunrise.
• Rule #35: Breakfast is for closers.
• Rule #36: Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
• Rule #37: At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
• Rule #38: Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.
• Rule #39: The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
• Rule #40: Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
• Rule #41: Never hit on the bride -- it's a one way ticket to the pavement
• Rule #42: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
• Rule #43: At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.
• Rule #44: Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it.
• Rule #45: Always remember your fake name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Crasher's code-name as well!
• Rule #46: The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
• Rule #47: You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
• Rule #48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancée.
• Rule #49: Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
• Rule #50: Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
• Rule #51: Always pull out in time.
• Rule #52: Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
• Rule #53: It's time to put your Drama Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
• Rule #54: Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.
• Rule #55: If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.
• Rule #56: Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up.
• Rule #57: When seeing a rival Crasher, do not interact: merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.
• Rule #58: The Ferrari's in the shop.
• Rule #59: If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.
• Rule #60: No "chicken dancing": no exceptions.
• Rule #61: When crashing out of state, request permission from the local Wedding Crasher chapter.
• Rule #62: No more than two weddings a weekend. More and your game gets sloppy. You'll also attract unwanted notice.
• Rule #63: Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Courtesy opens more legs than charm.
• Rule #64: Always save room for cake.
• Rule #65: When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island.
• Rule #66: Smile! You're having the time of your life.
• Rule #67: Mix it up a little. You can't always be the man with the haunted past.
• Rule #68: Dance with the Bride's grandmother.
• Rule #69: No sex on the altar. Confessionals, okay. Chair lofts, better.
• Rule #70: Two shutouts in a row? It's time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is it that is getting in the way of my happiness?
• Rule #71: Research, research, research the wedding party. And when you are done researching, research some more.
• Rule #72: Studies have shown that women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints: small cost, big yield.
• Rule #73: Keep interactions with the parents of the bride and groom to a minimum.
• Rule #74: In case of emergency, refer to the rulebook.
• Rule #75:
• Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion.
• Rule #77: Carry extra protection at ALL times.
• Rule #78: The unmarried female rabbi: is she fair game? Of course she is.
• Rule #79: The tables furthest from the kitchen always get served first.
• Rule #80: Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life.
• Rule #81: Occasionally bring a gift: you're getting sex without having to buy dinner, so you can afford a blender.
• Rule #82: Always think ahead but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you'll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind.
• Rule #83: Don't let the ring bearer bum your smokes. His parents may start to ask questions.
• Rule #84: Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may recognize you and start to wonder.
• Rule #85: Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit: not cool, not effective.
• Rule #86: Shoes say a lot about the man.
• Rule #87: Always choose large weddings. More choice. Easier to blend.
• Rule #88: You're from out of town. ALWAYS.
• Rule #89: Know something about the place you say you are from, whether be from another US state or another country. Texas is too-played out. For some reason, England, Germany or even New Hampshire seem to work. Master the accents convincingly, and you've nailed them!
• Rule #90: Of course you dream of one day having children.
• Rule #91: Never dance to "What I Like About You." It's long past time to let that song go. Someone will request it at every wedding. Don't dance to it. No matter how hot the girl.
• Rule #92: Tell the bride's friends and family that you are family of the groom and visa-versa.
• Rule #93: Only take one car. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.
• Rule #94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.
• Rule #95: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy.
• Rule #96: Etiquette isn't old-fashioned. It's sexy.
• Rule #97: Catholic weddings: the classic dilemma: painfully long ceremony: horny girls.
• Rule #98: The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully.
• Rule #99: Be judicious with cologne. Citrus tones are best.
• Rule #100: Save the tuxes for "the big show" only.
• Rule #101: Avoid women who were psychology majors in college. There is no kind of woman more clingy and persistent than a psychologist investigating your story later on.
• Rule #102: No periwinkle colored ties, please.
• Rule #103: Always have an early "appointment" the next morning.
• Rule #104: Be well groomed and well-mannered.
• Rule #105: Never cockblock a fellow Crasher. Cockblocking an invited guest--okay.
• Rule #106: Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy later.
• Rule #107: Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating.
• Rule #108: Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.
• Rule #109: Always carry an assortment of place cards to match any wedding design.
• Rule #110: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.
• Rule #111: Never have sex with bride or groom's mother even if she is the hottest bombshell at the wedding. Just control yourself.
• Rule #112: Have FUN! It's why you're there!
• Rule #113: Don't look for opportunities; make them.
• Rule #114: 3-4 months to wedding crash--funerals are year round!
• Rule #115: Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket.
But Im out, gonna chill tonight, movie that Im checking out tonight; The Fighter w/ that dude from Batman
But I was a lil bored, so wanted to do something on the fun side today. Ever since I watch Wedding Crashers a while back, I always wanted to do some wedding crashing, yet never had the time to do it, and of course Hot Springs is too small of a town. I remember when I crashed a party once, that should count; Back when I was living in Dallas, I was visiting downtown for Mardi Gras Dallas. I saw a appt complex that people were going in. On one of the floors we hit, there were 2 doors; 1 said "Private Party", another was the outside patio where they were having the party everyone was going to. So at the time I was a lil tipsy so I go in the door that says "Private Party". It was actually someone that was hosting a party. There were a lot of people there so I was able to blend in. I gotten a beer & then I check out the kitchen, nice for an appt complex, but next thing I knew I was the bartender for the party I crashed. There were professional people all older than me, I just said my name was Jarrid & I came here w/ a friend name Steve who was wondering around & I worked at a marketing firm in Mesquite & it was my 1st time experiencing Mardi Gras in Dallas. It was all good, gotten a few business cards, and met this lovely older woman who was going through a divorce yet we had a nice convo & she gave me her number.
But here are the rules I looked up online, if anyone is interested, hit me up, clothes sold separately lol.
• Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
• Rule #2: Never use your real name.
• Rule #3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.
• Rule #4: No one goes home alone.
• Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow crasher.
• Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
• Rule #7: Blend in by standing out.
• Rule #8: Be the life of the party.
• Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
• Rule #10: Invitations are for pussies.
• Rule #11: Sensitive is good.
• Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
• Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
• Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
• Rule #15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.
• Rule #16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.
• Rule #17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
• Rule #18: You love animals and children.
• Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
• Rule #20: The older the better, the younger the better (see Rule below)
• Rule #21: Definitely make sure she's
• 18.
• Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
• Rule #23: There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.
• Rule #24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.
• Rule #25: You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
• Rule #26: Of course you love her.
• Rule #27: Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
• Rule #28: Make sure there's an open bar.
• Rule #29: Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
• Rule #30: Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
• Rule #31: If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.
• Rule #32: Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
• Rule #33: Never go back to your place.
• Rule #34: Be gone by sunrise.
• Rule #35: Breakfast is for closers.
• Rule #36: Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
• Rule #37: At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
• Rule #38: Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.
• Rule #39: The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
• Rule #40: Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
• Rule #41: Never hit on the bride -- it's a one way ticket to the pavement
• Rule #42: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
• Rule #43: At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.
• Rule #44: Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it.
• Rule #45: Always remember your fake name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Crasher's code-name as well!
• Rule #46: The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
• Rule #47: You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
• Rule #48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancée.
• Rule #49: Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
• Rule #50: Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
• Rule #51: Always pull out in time.
• Rule #52: Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
• Rule #53: It's time to put your Drama Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
• Rule #54: Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.
• Rule #55: If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.
• Rule #56: Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up.
• Rule #57: When seeing a rival Crasher, do not interact: merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.
• Rule #58: The Ferrari's in the shop.
• Rule #59: If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.
• Rule #60: No "chicken dancing": no exceptions.
• Rule #61: When crashing out of state, request permission from the local Wedding Crasher chapter.
• Rule #62: No more than two weddings a weekend. More and your game gets sloppy. You'll also attract unwanted notice.
• Rule #63: Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Courtesy opens more legs than charm.
• Rule #64: Always save room for cake.
• Rule #65: When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island.
• Rule #66: Smile! You're having the time of your life.
• Rule #67: Mix it up a little. You can't always be the man with the haunted past.
• Rule #68: Dance with the Bride's grandmother.
• Rule #69: No sex on the altar. Confessionals, okay. Chair lofts, better.
• Rule #70: Two shutouts in a row? It's time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is it that is getting in the way of my happiness?
• Rule #71: Research, research, research the wedding party. And when you are done researching, research some more.
• Rule #72: Studies have shown that women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints: small cost, big yield.
• Rule #73: Keep interactions with the parents of the bride and groom to a minimum.
• Rule #74: In case of emergency, refer to the rulebook.
• Rule #75:
• Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion.
• Rule #77: Carry extra protection at ALL times.
• Rule #78: The unmarried female rabbi: is she fair game? Of course she is.
• Rule #79: The tables furthest from the kitchen always get served first.
• Rule #80: Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life.
• Rule #81: Occasionally bring a gift: you're getting sex without having to buy dinner, so you can afford a blender.
• Rule #82: Always think ahead but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you'll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind.
• Rule #83: Don't let the ring bearer bum your smokes. His parents may start to ask questions.
• Rule #84: Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may recognize you and start to wonder.
• Rule #85: Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit: not cool, not effective.
• Rule #86: Shoes say a lot about the man.
• Rule #87: Always choose large weddings. More choice. Easier to blend.
• Rule #88: You're from out of town. ALWAYS.
• Rule #89: Know something about the place you say you are from, whether be from another US state or another country. Texas is too-played out. For some reason, England, Germany or even New Hampshire seem to work. Master the accents convincingly, and you've nailed them!
• Rule #90: Of course you dream of one day having children.
• Rule #91: Never dance to "What I Like About You." It's long past time to let that song go. Someone will request it at every wedding. Don't dance to it. No matter how hot the girl.
• Rule #92: Tell the bride's friends and family that you are family of the groom and visa-versa.
• Rule #93: Only take one car. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.
• Rule #94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.
• Rule #95: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy.
• Rule #96: Etiquette isn't old-fashioned. It's sexy.
• Rule #97: Catholic weddings: the classic dilemma: painfully long ceremony: horny girls.
• Rule #98: The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully.
• Rule #99: Be judicious with cologne. Citrus tones are best.
• Rule #100: Save the tuxes for "the big show" only.
• Rule #101: Avoid women who were psychology majors in college. There is no kind of woman more clingy and persistent than a psychologist investigating your story later on.
• Rule #102: No periwinkle colored ties, please.
• Rule #103: Always have an early "appointment" the next morning.
• Rule #104: Be well groomed and well-mannered.
• Rule #105: Never cockblock a fellow Crasher. Cockblocking an invited guest--okay.
• Rule #106: Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy later.
• Rule #107: Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating.
• Rule #108: Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.
• Rule #109: Always carry an assortment of place cards to match any wedding design.
• Rule #110: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.
• Rule #111: Never have sex with bride or groom's mother even if she is the hottest bombshell at the wedding. Just control yourself.
• Rule #112: Have FUN! It's why you're there!
• Rule #113: Don't look for opportunities; make them.
• Rule #114: 3-4 months to wedding crash--funerals are year round!
• Rule #115: Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket.
But Im out, gonna chill tonight, movie that Im checking out tonight; The Fighter w/ that dude from Batman
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
