Back in August................

Hope everyone is doing well. Just owe back some time on here & give an update on life. Still been doing my 2nd job yet that will be over at the end of October. Things have been frustrated because at one point I was up for a promotion at the 2nd job yet they end up giving it to a younger guy, but Im not trying to be bitter, the guy has 4 kids & his wife is stay-at-home. As for my main job, I haven’t been teaching since Feb and since my sup is still having her health problems, my training still has been on hold & I’ve been stuck just maintaining the office. So basically I’ve been taking up a 3rd job; giving plasma at the center down the street from my house. Also have been seeing this great woman, I like her yet I wonder if she feel the same way about me, and she stays in Memphis. Got to kick it w/ her last month & she is more gorgeous in person than in her pics. Also what I love about her is that she is genuine, really separates herself from other woman, & she has goals for herself. I just hope that me being in Ark & her in Memphis don’t stand in the way. I have gotten contacted by an employment center in St. Louis, gonna try to hit them up once I get something from my aunt that stays there, she said she wanted to talk to them to make sure they were legit. Texas & even Memphis are still options, depending on who has the best offer on the table. Next Saturday is my mom’s BDay & still doing some shopping, already gotten her first gift yet still seeing what I can get, even when I had bills to pay. Wish me the best!!!

Me @ The Peabody Rooftop Party last month

Accidental Break............

So yeah, this is what I like to call an “Accidental Break”....................... Here at work getting things done, working on a new slideshow. Dont really know where to start. So Im actually now spending more time w/ the 2nd job than my first job. There have been more complications at my first job, a lot of miscommunication & no one wants to talk about what is wrong, not even my supervisor. But at my 2nd job, I have been put into the running as a supervisor in the next month or 2. My sup at my 2nd job is going through training for the Army so he wants me to take over for him once he leaves. As for her grandson, I left him alone, my mom & other people told me I have to be better at choosing friends. My birthday back in March was ok, didnt really do much, and prolly saying that because its hard to remember it. My sis's Bday was back on May 5th, we got to kick it as well.But also proud to announce that my lil sis made the High School Varsity Cheerleader Squad, so that means I'll be cheering for her during the friday night lights this fall. Mothers Day was good, had to work yet gotten some gifts & did dinner for my mom. I am blessed to have her as my mom, even when it annoys me when she waits til the last minute to tell me stuff & has a hard time holding water, if you know what I mean. I was also meaning to make a trip back to Memphis next week yet still dont know, my mom just telling me about some money issues she needed help with. Sort of miss my friends there & also miss Nina, we talk on the phone almost every other day yet still looking to actually see her again. I think she a lil mad at me because I wasnt able to talk to her on the phone yesterday during lunch But I'll try to be back on here w/ some more stuff, especially when I had some interesting things happen.

Not because they were white..........

Its actually in the middle of the night when Im typing this, thought I would be sleep after a long day yet Im not for some reason. As some of you know, my birthday is tomorrow, but not really gonna do much celebrating this weekend. Found out earlier that my grandfather was having eye surgery for some type of glaucoma on the same day as my birthday, so been a lil worried about him. Also having to get stuff prepped for my 2nd job, gonna be starting it next weekend.

All over the news, people have been talking about the Travyon Martin case, saying that Zimmerman might have gotten off because of he was a white man (even when it was discovered he was hispanic descent). But some of yall need to really stop saying it was just because he was a white man. In a way, this is common to the Casey Anthony case. People keep saying it was because they were white, but actually they got away because they were also well connected. Zimmerman is a son of a retired state judge while Anthony has some ties herself because of her parents. Keep in mind, a few months back, there was a woman & her mother that went straight to jail when they ran their young daughter for about 3 miles & she actually died from exhaustion. They were white yet I knew those people were broke & unconnected when they went straight to jail & a key thing was in the article it said that they lived in a trailer. Also keep in mind that your average black man could go to jail for a commited crime, yet if he was an entertainer or a star athlete, he would get some type of leeway. Even with the Nolan Ryan Henderson incident that happened at Jackson State University, if those wasnt football players, would they have been held accountable for that beatdown?? So overall, if it was only white people that get away w/ things, then 1) Some of your “trailer park white trash” would get away w/ more crimes & 2) Some of your African American entertainers & athletes would have harsher sentences for their crimes.

That in a nutshell, hope yall having a great week & if Im not on here, yall have a great weekend

Who you want vs. Who you need

So still been in the real world, also remembering that when I blog, Im able to do some venting as well as just putting my thoughts on here, even when they are random. I just need to remember to be consistent about the helpful things, including my writing, reading, & my dieting. Also, pray for my family, my Granddad in Houston is having eye surgery this coming week.

So what I have been dealing with is that my supervisor wanted me to lay off of some things this past week, I asked what was going on & she said that she wanted to slow things down because of her health. A few days later, I notice that she was trying to get her grandson involved w/ some of the functions in the office that I was doing. I have been talking to the grandson as a friend for a while, he was saying he didnt want to get involved because it wasnt his type of work, even when he lives w/ her & only works part-time at some spray shirt design store. He even said he himself didnt understand why she was pulling him to do stuff thats supposed to be my job & he didnt want to be there. I even talked to her & she said nothing was going on. Still dont fully know whats running through her mind, but I am still putting out my resume to numerous places.

Now the thing Im just trying to say is some people in this world is mad because people have two types of people around us: 1) Those people that we want to support us yet they dont want to & 2) Those people that support us yet we blow them off. I think a lot of people walk around wanting certain people to care & help you that you overlook those people that support you. Some people are even in situations where their families dont support them yet they need to realize that there are people that are not blood that will be there for them. Even in dating, we blow off complete people for those that only look good on the outside. People would say “Nobody want to ask me out”, but it could mean that OR they just look over the ones that ask them out. Moral of the story: if there are people who have been supportive of you, Embrace them, and dont force people to be there for you if they dont want to be there. And PLEASE dont wait til its too late.

Short & to the point, Hope everyone is having a great weekend

Your Potential & Chances

So I know its been a min since I posted, just been busy w/ some changes. Its my Bday month & I always expect it to be busy. This month, been trying to get stuff together between my job & my 2nd job. So because of my supervisor's dialysis coming up, she had canceled the class that I am supposed to have been help teaching this month. So instead of just sitting at the office & studying for my certification, Im taking my 2nd job at the same place as last year, but this time Im going back into bartending, gonna spend time at both jobs.

A while back, I rented Good Will Hunting from the library, I know Im late, just something in my spirit said just get it. It about this story of a guy named Will Hunting, a guy who works as a janitor that has the ability to solve hard math problems. He has a bunch of friends that you can say are unaccomplished yet they been supportive to him. So one day he gets caught solving a 2-yr-old problem by a professor & the professor tries to help him reach his full potential. He even meets a psychologist to see about his problems. In the process, he meets a girl that goes to Harvard. But as he goes through the story, we see that Will had past problems, and because of those past problems, he has fears of failure & being rejecting opportunities & relationships because he is afraid of being rejected himself.

But I do recommend everyone to see this movie if you havent already. The lesson out of it is that even when you have a bad past, you dont let that keep you from taking chances. Yes, I even have to remind myself this from time to time. I see people these days just cutting off people & opportunities because they are afraid that they would be told no, so its a get-them-before-they-get-me approach. Also, some people can see your gifts before you can, so when you havent figured out what you want to do w/ your life, someone gonna take you & try to mold you into THEIR image. You never know what will happen if you are willing to take chances in life, whether its professional or relationship-wise, its sometimes better to fail than to not even try at all.

Hope everyone has a great weekend

The State of Love Today

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT!!!!! THESE ARE MY OPINIONS!!!

So I know the other day was Vday & I hope everyone enjoyed it. Had my Valentine yet was a lil upset she was in another city at this time.

But I just wanted to type something thats been on my mind. What is the state of Love these days?? Im starting to wonder is love unconditional or is it conditional. If you know about my city of Hot Springs, its a semi-small city. But even in general for Arkansans, people often ask me Why do Arkansans marry earlier than other people?? I think it goes back to when Chris Rock said himself “People are only as faithful as their options”. I know this blog is not really about cheating, but someone have told me that Arkansans dont have much options for finding someone. Also that people just jump into relationships here because their either bored or desperate. Which lays into as a society, do we date & marry because its who we want or who we “need”?? Its like a rapper or a singer, sometimes there really is a difference between doing it for the money/fame & doing it because you LOVE it

I have a former coworker I ran into during Christmas shopping last year, found out he gotten promoted to assistant manager. Since sometime during 2009, he has dated a girl that we helped trained in 09. She has a daughter & I think after the 1st 2-3 months, not only they started to live w/ each other, they co-signed on a car together. So fast forward to when I ran into him in Dec 2011, he still staying w/ her, I asked if he was gonna marry her, he said no & he said he wasnt the marrying type. Also, last year during my 2nd job, I met this girl that was once staying w/ her now ex-bf for over 2 years & even had kids w/ him, now she finally has that apartment for herself & her 4 kids.

Even when we see celebs w/ their significate others, we might have to wonder is it for love, for money, or just for fame. When Kobe broke up w/ his wife, people was saying Oh Kobe cheated through all this. But if you noticed w/ Kobe, Tony Parker, Tiger Woods, and a few others, these women left when their careers and/or their teams start declining. So would these women still be w/ these people if they had championship years now?? We will never know......................

But my thing is that if you are in love & want to be w/ someone, make sure you want to be w/ them because you really LOVE them, not because you may need them for something. If you just need them for something such as being lonely, attention, or money, even if you get what you want, how do you know you want to stay once you get what you wanted?? Thats why you gotta love yourself & be able to do for yourself first.

Also, when you get w/ someone, its best to have that friend zone first. I've seen a lot of people just jump into a relationship yet they dont trust that other person but they STILL want to stay w/ that person. Now w/ having a friend zone first, You are able to build trust w/ someone, they will understand who you are & you would understand who they are. With the friend zone, you would understand each other's limitations on what you will & will not take, AND you have a better understanding if you want to escalate the friendship into a relationship or it they are a waste of time for you. Now if you are one of those that have gotten hurt by someone, maybe you need to have some time to yourself or even get some help so you wont have to think everyone is the same & you wont think the next person is just as bad as the previous, you have to remember God made us like his image but we are all different.

Finally, I think that too many of us are afraid to be ourselves, its basically having a rep for you when we first meet that person then the real person comes out when the relationship is solidfied. But I somewhat understand, for some people, you might get results you want faster when you being fake than when you being yourself. I know it might be hard, but would you rather have something wrong now or have something great in the long run?? And sometimes you gotta let love happen, bad results happen when you try to rush, and I KNOW that there are some people that rush to cover their flaws or rush to say to themselves that theres nothing wrong w/ them, if you are one of those people, you might have to deal w/ your issues before you jump into something. Dont expect to just jump into a relationship thinking the other person gonna fix your issues or be the only one to make things interesting in it. Dont have certain expectations for the other person that you cant meet yourself.

If I miss some points/things, this stuff is coming off the top of my dome. Overall, Learn to love yourself first & handle your business, and things will follow. If you gonna love, love for the right reasons, If you are w/ someone for the wrong reasons, its gonna show one day.

Happy V-Day/My 100th Blog

In Honor of my 100th Blog, as well as in Honor of Valentines Day, decided to do some of my favorite love songs:


Johnny Gill – There you Go



Johnny Gill – Lets Just Run Away


Silk - Ebony Eyes


Will Downing | I Can't Help It.


Mike Phillips – Wonderful & Special


Trey Songz - In The Middle


Portrait – Precious Moments


Seal – Kiss from a Rose