Year of Communication

Been thinking about stuff that has been going on this year. I think I understand how everything is connected this year: Communication. During the year, I have dealt w/ individuals that had problems w/ it but also have strengthened it / some individuals as well. Some things that happened this year: -I had one supervisor who has been distant from me even when I went above & beyond for her, later found out she was upset because she wanted her grandson in my position & didn’t want to say anything about it. -I had another supervisor that had problems w/ communication. I once had to take off my work shirt to try & fix a desk in the office. The sup walked in, saw me, & instead of asking me what was going on, she pulled my coworkers aside & asked them why I had my work shirt off when I was visible working on something. -Me & my mom in a way having this “quiet battle”. As I mentioned earlier, I have been filling out apps to try to move to Houston. My mom have been making slick remarks, I once talked to my aunt that lives in Houston about who is all hiring, I told my mom I talked to my aunt, , my mom asked if those places has Hot Springs locations I could apply to. My mom has been pushing hard on these Hot Springs places, which I already applied to a while back & haven’t heard from them. Its like my mom wants me to stay but she will not verbally admit it. -And recently I had this close friend that I just lost, we've been talking for a year & we used to talk to each other on the phone, now she has been distant from me. We have not talked to each other on the phone since Aug 28th of this year, she said she has been too busy to talk to me yet she has spent time w/ everyone but me. She would text me & may chat w/ me, yet I get this feeling she is hiding behind that so she wont be vocal. I have sent emails over a month ago talking about us being distant yet she wouldn’t respond. She basically gave me the cold shoulder & yet will not tell me whats wrong & is afraid to be verbal about it even when she still has my number. I do want to ask: Why is it hard for some women to be verbally honest except in gossiping?? Not trying to bash women here.......... But basically what I have done was gotten in contact more w/ my friends on twitter, DMing them that I was taking a break from twitter & just try to call, email, or text me. I just didn’t want to be one of those people that its easier for me to express myself on social sites than in the real world. When Im gonna be back on twitter?? Dont really know, have things to work on. So if you know me through twitter, DM me. Still applying to places in Houston, in fact, planning to make a stop there late next month. Be Blessed & Be Careful out there

R.I.P. Sgt David Lee Johnson

Been feeling a li lsick, thats why this may sound a lil off today. So Im here just to do some reflecting. This past weekend I went to the funeral of my uncle in Hope, Ark. For those that don’t know, my uncle had an 18-day battle w/ the West Nile Virus. I have been contacting his wife before he died & although he did get a surgery, he was still having effects. During my time in Hope, I got to actually see the people he had made a difference for & how well known he was in the city & southwest Ark. It was weird how I went to the city & still expected to see him. But I just also see how this death made me think of some things. Now my other uncle is the last surviving child of my grandmother AND since my uncle & other cousins carry a different last name because of my grandmother’s 2nd marriage, Im pretty much the only one left to carry the Johnson name. With all these deaths that happened the past year and a half on both sides of my family, I think I see the connection. All these people have touched people & have worked hard all their lives, they did what they had to do to support their families & loved the jobs that they did. With my father’s side of the family, it contained men that loved the mothers of their children & they have worked as well as being known as men of integrity. At times, I wondered if I could measured up w/ the men in my family & even my father, so Im reflecting on life on how Im making a difference in life & if Im working my hardest. But the thing you have to ask in life is What are you doing to be productive in your life?? If you died today, how do you want people to remember you?? R.I.P Sgt David Lee Johnson

Back in August................

Hope everyone is doing well. Just owe back some time on here & give an update on life. Still been doing my 2nd job yet that will be over at the end of October. Things have been frustrated because at one point I was up for a promotion at the 2nd job yet they end up giving it to a younger guy, but Im not trying to be bitter, the guy has 4 kids & his wife is stay-at-home. As for my main job, I haven’t been teaching since Feb and since my sup is still having her health problems, my training still has been on hold & I’ve been stuck just maintaining the office. So basically I’ve been taking up a 3rd job; giving plasma at the center down the street from my house. Also have been seeing this great woman, I like her yet I wonder if she feel the same way about me, and she stays in Memphis. Got to kick it w/ her last month & she is more gorgeous in person than in her pics. Also what I love about her is that she is genuine, really separates herself from other woman, & she has goals for herself. I just hope that me being in Ark & her in Memphis don’t stand in the way. I have gotten contacted by an employment center in St. Louis, gonna try to hit them up once I get something from my aunt that stays there, she said she wanted to talk to them to make sure they were legit. Texas & even Memphis are still options, depending on who has the best offer on the table. Next Saturday is my mom’s BDay & still doing some shopping, already gotten her first gift yet still seeing what I can get, even when I had bills to pay. Wish me the best!!!

Me @ The Peabody Rooftop Party last month

Accidental Break............

So yeah, this is what I like to call an “Accidental Break”....................... Here at work getting things done, working on a new slideshow. Dont really know where to start. So Im actually now spending more time w/ the 2nd job than my first job. There have been more complications at my first job, a lot of miscommunication & no one wants to talk about what is wrong, not even my supervisor. But at my 2nd job, I have been put into the running as a supervisor in the next month or 2. My sup at my 2nd job is going through training for the Army so he wants me to take over for him once he leaves. As for her grandson, I left him alone, my mom & other people told me I have to be better at choosing friends. My birthday back in March was ok, didnt really do much, and prolly saying that because its hard to remember it. My sis's Bday was back on May 5th, we got to kick it as well.But also proud to announce that my lil sis made the High School Varsity Cheerleader Squad, so that means I'll be cheering for her during the friday night lights this fall. Mothers Day was good, had to work yet gotten some gifts & did dinner for my mom. I am blessed to have her as my mom, even when it annoys me when she waits til the last minute to tell me stuff & has a hard time holding water, if you know what I mean. I was also meaning to make a trip back to Memphis next week yet still dont know, my mom just telling me about some money issues she needed help with. Sort of miss my friends there & also miss Nina, we talk on the phone almost every other day yet still looking to actually see her again. I think she a lil mad at me because I wasnt able to talk to her on the phone yesterday during lunch But I'll try to be back on here w/ some more stuff, especially when I had some interesting things happen.

Not because they were white..........

Its actually in the middle of the night when Im typing this, thought I would be sleep after a long day yet Im not for some reason. As some of you know, my birthday is tomorrow, but not really gonna do much celebrating this weekend. Found out earlier that my grandfather was having eye surgery for some type of glaucoma on the same day as my birthday, so been a lil worried about him. Also having to get stuff prepped for my 2nd job, gonna be starting it next weekend.

All over the news, people have been talking about the Travyon Martin case, saying that Zimmerman might have gotten off because of he was a white man (even when it was discovered he was hispanic descent). But some of yall need to really stop saying it was just because he was a white man. In a way, this is common to the Casey Anthony case. People keep saying it was because they were white, but actually they got away because they were also well connected. Zimmerman is a son of a retired state judge while Anthony has some ties herself because of her parents. Keep in mind, a few months back, there was a woman & her mother that went straight to jail when they ran their young daughter for about 3 miles & she actually died from exhaustion. They were white yet I knew those people were broke & unconnected when they went straight to jail & a key thing was in the article it said that they lived in a trailer. Also keep in mind that your average black man could go to jail for a commited crime, yet if he was an entertainer or a star athlete, he would get some type of leeway. Even with the Nolan Ryan Henderson incident that happened at Jackson State University, if those wasnt football players, would they have been held accountable for that beatdown?? So overall, if it was only white people that get away w/ things, then 1) Some of your “trailer park white trash” would get away w/ more crimes & 2) Some of your African American entertainers & athletes would have harsher sentences for their crimes.

That in a nutshell, hope yall having a great week & if Im not on here, yall have a great weekend

Who you want vs. Who you need

So still been in the real world, also remembering that when I blog, Im able to do some venting as well as just putting my thoughts on here, even when they are random. I just need to remember to be consistent about the helpful things, including my writing, reading, & my dieting. Also, pray for my family, my Granddad in Houston is having eye surgery this coming week.

So what I have been dealing with is that my supervisor wanted me to lay off of some things this past week, I asked what was going on & she said that she wanted to slow things down because of her health. A few days later, I notice that she was trying to get her grandson involved w/ some of the functions in the office that I was doing. I have been talking to the grandson as a friend for a while, he was saying he didnt want to get involved because it wasnt his type of work, even when he lives w/ her & only works part-time at some spray shirt design store. He even said he himself didnt understand why she was pulling him to do stuff thats supposed to be my job & he didnt want to be there. I even talked to her & she said nothing was going on. Still dont fully know whats running through her mind, but I am still putting out my resume to numerous places.

Now the thing Im just trying to say is some people in this world is mad because people have two types of people around us: 1) Those people that we want to support us yet they dont want to & 2) Those people that support us yet we blow them off. I think a lot of people walk around wanting certain people to care & help you that you overlook those people that support you. Some people are even in situations where their families dont support them yet they need to realize that there are people that are not blood that will be there for them. Even in dating, we blow off complete people for those that only look good on the outside. People would say “Nobody want to ask me out”, but it could mean that OR they just look over the ones that ask them out. Moral of the story: if there are people who have been supportive of you, Embrace them, and dont force people to be there for you if they dont want to be there. And PLEASE dont wait til its too late.

Short & to the point, Hope everyone is having a great weekend

Your Potential & Chances

So I know its been a min since I posted, just been busy w/ some changes. Its my Bday month & I always expect it to be busy. This month, been trying to get stuff together between my job & my 2nd job. So because of my supervisor's dialysis coming up, she had canceled the class that I am supposed to have been help teaching this month. So instead of just sitting at the office & studying for my certification, Im taking my 2nd job at the same place as last year, but this time Im going back into bartending, gonna spend time at both jobs.

A while back, I rented Good Will Hunting from the library, I know Im late, just something in my spirit said just get it. It about this story of a guy named Will Hunting, a guy who works as a janitor that has the ability to solve hard math problems. He has a bunch of friends that you can say are unaccomplished yet they been supportive to him. So one day he gets caught solving a 2-yr-old problem by a professor & the professor tries to help him reach his full potential. He even meets a psychologist to see about his problems. In the process, he meets a girl that goes to Harvard. But as he goes through the story, we see that Will had past problems, and because of those past problems, he has fears of failure & being rejecting opportunities & relationships because he is afraid of being rejected himself.

But I do recommend everyone to see this movie if you havent already. The lesson out of it is that even when you have a bad past, you dont let that keep you from taking chances. Yes, I even have to remind myself this from time to time. I see people these days just cutting off people & opportunities because they are afraid that they would be told no, so its a get-them-before-they-get-me approach. Also, some people can see your gifts before you can, so when you havent figured out what you want to do w/ your life, someone gonna take you & try to mold you into THEIR image. You never know what will happen if you are willing to take chances in life, whether its professional or relationship-wise, its sometimes better to fail than to not even try at all.

Hope everyone has a great weekend