Well..................

The holiday weekend has officially started for me, yet Just been a lil bored today. Been cleaning house all day today, my cousin wants to come & take a visit tonight, really dont know what to expect. Im deciding to spend the whole weekend w/ the family, yet my mom still hasnt decided what she wants to do, one min she saying Missouri City, the next she says Texarkana. We were supposed to have a reunion this time in Texarkana this weekend but because of my Great-Grandmother's death a month ago, they decided to cancel it. I just haven't heard anything from my dad's side of the family so Im guessing they not doing anything this year. It was in the front page of our newspaper that because of the storms we had our burn ban lifted in the area, so Im looking for the nearest fireworks stand to go to. But I do remember I have some fireworks in storage, some small wildcats.


But downloading more NeoSoul music for when I travel this weekend, here's one site Im getting some mixes from: NeoSoul Cafe

Also found this song, they said it was released in 04, but it was the 1st time for me hearing it:





Have a good one!!

Good Life vs. Perfect Picture

What is it that you want in life?? Do you have things planned or are you freestyling life?? Im in just one of those deep thoughts today. I know we want to have good things to happen in our lives yet I wonder at times do we actually let life happen or we so focused on making things perfect & look good in front of people, and when things are “suppose” to be in certain ways, as I mean of “Good Life vs. Perfect Picture”.

I know that a lot of women (and some men) want that perfect relationship, but the question is how much stuff are you willing to take to stay in your so-called relationship or family? You may want to be shown as the image of a happy family, boyfriend & girlfriend, husband & wife, but what about certain issues?? Maybe if one of you are bored in the relationship, one of you come out of the closet, or even one of you have problems being faithful. I know that some people may want to get married because they feel if they don’t get married at a certain age, they might look bad in the eyes of other people, I think that’s why some of those ladies act crazy on Bridezillas. Some people are even avoiding marriage counseling because it may reveal things they pretended didn’t exist. Two Examples: 1) In Carl Weber’s So You Call Yourself a Man, the woman walks in the house & sees her hubby taking a blowjob from another man. Instead of accepting he was gay, she wanted to stay w/ him, even offered herself to anal sex & say he can pretend she was a man. 2) In Chasing Destiny, The wife wanted to stay w/ her husband, even when the husband did not want to be w/ her & he made another woman pregnant, even their daughter saw that the man was a whole lot happier when they were split, but the woman wanted that family together, at one point she even said she would allow the other woman to see him if that family could be together.

Its not just about the male & female in the relationship, sometimes kids are involved. A perfect picture of kids is they are good kids, making good grades, maybe great athletes, and may even get into & graduate college. In reality, there are some parents that deal with kids that go away from being what they want, it ranges from different things, kids behaving bad, kids coming out of the closet, even kids in interracial dating. A key thing is that sometimes kids inherit bad spirits from their parents, and some parents act like their kids are not going to act the same way they act, in reality, some kids may pick up bad habits. Even w/ good parents, some may get mad because their kids go a whole different route

I am a big fan of the show Mad Men, although I didn’t start watching it until Season 4. In the earlier seasons, the main character Don Draper & his wife gotten divorce, their 3 kids stayed with the wife, the wife remarries. She now married w/ a man that will help her take care of her 3 kids, she could be able to recover & be happily ever after but there are 2 certain things that’s making her look bad. 1) She is in denial that her daughter is affected by the divorce, she blames her child’s behavior on the death of her grandfather and 2) Although Don Draper is seeing & being there for his kids as a good father, you can see she is upset because he doing very well w/o her, she wanted Mr. Draper to be miserable w/o her around but he’s not. That “perfection” that she was looking for is her & her new hubby w/ 3 good kids, and she was looking for the ex to have a bad life after the divorce. But overall, I know we all may want that “perfect life”, but there may been times where a wrench is thrown in or something unexpected happens, but sometimes its not what happens, but on how we respond to it. And don’t rush things in your life, if it in God’s will & timing, it will happen if you let it.

Tipsy Tuesday

Today was unexpected. Accidentally fell asleep last night around 8 or 9, woke up around 3:30 but got my running in an hour or so later. The strange thing was I re-shaved my head last night expecting to get a tan on my head but today it was raining. So I found out my cousin DC is in my city working for the nearby Walgreens, staying at a hotel on the other side of town, I mentioned in an earlier blog on whether or not she lied about the placement, she claim the job "made" her take the temporary placement in a smaller boring town. We were suppose to meet later today yet she hasnt called me yet on what she wants to do, she had a doctors appt today. I don't know, just have a strange feeling about it, like a gut feeling for some reason. I love my cousin, yet just hope everything is accurate on what she is telling me. I remember that I once helped her w/ some things while she stayed in Memphis while I was in school. A key moment was when I was on my way to Memphis to see my then-girlfriend for V-Day weekend, I went to Little Rock to just drop off my cousin's birthday gift, she was working late, so I got a hotel room & planned to wait on cousin, plus I was half sleep from getting off work. She calls me late after she gets off, and ask if she could stay at my hotel room for the night, she was telling me that her bf somehow left town & she didnt want to be there by herself for the night. When she got to my room, she was asking about Why didnt I have food, wanted money to get food, wanted to drink some liquor, use my laptop for "business", and other random stuff. Strange thing was she was out in the morning before I woke up. But now, she wants me to try to look for her a new bf because she is getting tired of the one she is with now, she claims she hates it w/ her present bf (a frat bro in fact), and she doesnt want to leave him until she found someone else. Overall, I can help her, but Its really not my job to set damn near everything up in her life for her. I can teach her how to fish w/o giving it to her. But I'll just see what happens..........might just take her to Happy Hour @ Oaklawn one of these days.

But as of travel plans, I don't really fully know. New bills have came up, so Im seeing about delaying my Houston trip for the 1st weekend in Aug, getting to see my family and attend the Texas Greek Picnic. Im also researching for my trip next summer to London, want to hit the highlights, mainly the basketball championship & maybe some track meets.

Almost forgot, You can hit me up on Facebook or Twitter, links have been embedded

Weekend & Reading

In a way, still tired from the weekend. I thought I was gonna go to that small biker fair & I was gonna take my lil sis, yet found out she was entertaining her neighbor's niece that just came to town & needed someone to hang with. So my sis got a chance to go to Magic Springs on someone else's dime just for playing host. So I did get some work done, but primary I ended up mowing the lawn at my mom's home. I was asking all this time if she wanted me to mow it for her, she keeps declining me & said she was paying another guy to do it & the guy really need the money, plus my mom is still paranoid of buying her own lawnmower because the last one got stolen a few years ago. So what happened was that on Saturday evening, I get this call from my mom's friend talking about using her lawnmower. I was confused because my mom declined me doing it, buy my mom's friend said she have been telling mom all week that she had a mower that my mom could use, and I didnt know they had this convo. So I ended up getting into my warmups ready to work, headed over to mom's house, and got the mower from the woman. I was halfway done when the guy my mom hired came through & saw that I was doing it. He said he thought he was doing it, I told him I was thrown off myself because I offered to do it for her, and she declined, now I was actually doing it, so I told the guy sorry & that I was doing it that day. I ended up finishing it, then my mom comes home. I was almost like Mom why didnt you tell me this?? but I was tired. I was wondering if she do this on purpose just to avoid telling the guy she didnt want to pay him this time & have me deal w/ him instead, she have done it before.

Believe it or not, I didnt watch the BET Awards, just didnt feel like it. I did finish another book this weekend as well, Carl Weber's Big Girls Do Cry. I've been a fan on Weber since reading So You Call Yourself a Man. Strangely, Big Girls Do Cry made me mad at the ending. In the book, the woman was having a problem w/ her marriage, and she finds thongs in her bed & in her couch that was not hers, so she instantly accused her husband (Leon) of cheating. Then later on, a woman approaches her house telling her she was having an affair w/ Leon. Later that day, She confronts her husband & he denies the whole affair & says he never met the woman. They do go to counseling but Things escalated, she ends up pulling a gun on him & wants him to leave. She then goes out w/ her gay friend to the bar & meets this guy there, and she sleeps w/ him. Later, she starts dating this guy (Mike) she knew from her childhood & they hit it off great. Leon is still coming around, he going & making progress in counseling & he still denying the affair, but the wife said she had enough of him & she wanted him to just go w/ "the other woman". One day out of the blue, a guy approaches her at a restaurant right before she leaves for vacation w/ Mike, the person was a detective, and said that her husband was innocent all this time. He showed her pictures of her gay friend paying a woman to pose as a woman her husband was supposedly sleeping with. At first, she calls Mike that things were over between then & calls Leon to tell him she found out he was being honest. But at the end of the book, although her & Leon look to have a happy ending, she ending up having Mike as the guy on the side still.

Why this made me mad?? If you go all out & accuse your husband of cheating, yet you later found out he didn't, dont you owe him something for that shit he took when you accused him?? He was innocent, but in the end, she became the cheater. And what I questioned was that when the woman told you she was sleeping w/ your husband, why didnt you call your husband right there on the spot?? Almost reminded me of the movie Obsessed, never even remember the wife apologizing. Maybe it just me, not trying to be sensitive, but it just feel like testing a innocent man's character, almost like some women are upset that a man did not cheat on them.

But Im just venting. Next book I got my hands on: Play like you mean it; Passion, laughs, and leadership in the world's most beautiful game by Rex Ryan, Coach of the New York Jets

Hill Harper’s Letters to a Young Brother

Gotten a chance to read Hill Harper’s Letters to a Young Brother, actually just finishing it reading it bit by bit, day after other day. Im actually impressed by it, giving life lessons through letters to a boy learning to be a man. What I liked about the book is that it tells of self-improvement, these days we like to blame other things on who we are & why we act the way we act. I also like the fact that he tells his own experiences as examples of the advice he writes. He mentioned that when he first went to Brown, he first was just focused to be an NFL player, he ended up taking a Shakespeare class to fill his schedule and his acting career started from there. But he tells us to live life to the fullest as well. Even when things & certain goals change, we should still be active & staying confident in ourselves. Every opportunity we get, even if its not something big or good, can lead us to something bigger in the future, so we can embrace it & be thankful for it instead of being mad at where we are at the moment. I myself have already been taking certain steps: I am now exercising more & trying to eat healthier, reading more books, making a change in music from Rap & R&B to NeoSoul, even researching to take the Series 7 Exam to be a stockbroker one day. In the next few years, I want to buy my own house, and in the future, want to buy property & retire in New Orleans. Things might change but Ill still be working for what I want. He does tell about dreaming & thinking big as well. I know people keep talking about greek picnics, yet I want to do something out of the original: Making plans to attend London for the 2012 Olympics, be there when Team USA plays basketball & track. But reading the book has also made me see something in myself; I have two things about myself that Im still embracing. One, Seeing things from certain angles. Sometimes I may see things that no one else see & might be odd w/ other people seeing what I say. I remember the other day on Twitter where I was starting to see stuff about Fried Kool-Aid, also seeing a sign for Fried Oreos while running, and I just started to name off random fried stuff on Twitter like Fried Vodka, Fried Jack Daniels, Fried Honey Buns, Fried Crunch N Munch, Fried Cambodian Milk, just quoted like what if I could be the Bubba of Fried Foods. Two, which can go hand in hand w/ the first one, I often like to express my thought, may just express myself more than the next man at times. I usually may tweet & update my FB status more than the avg man, but its just expressing my thoughts, Im hardly keeping things in. I might say someday off one day but its just me thinking out loud. I remember almost a year ago, I had this random chick questioning me about my education because of what I write & say, I attended the Univ of Memphis, actually planning of heading back to school to get my Masters, this blog is just what I feel & write, I can say some sophisticated stuff to impress, but I would rather keep it simple. But overall, just make yourself the best you can be, as well as making sure you live a happy life where you are actually working for goals, and if you not doing anything, you have no one to blame but yourself, so you got to get motivated. Thats about it, may read the Conversation in the near future.

Friday Update

Having an ok day so far. This morning when I was running, I lost my flash drive off my keychain. When I run, I usually wrap my keys around my hand. Then when I went back down the trail to look for it, it started to rain. It didnt stop til I got to work. But what ended up cheering me up was that Michael Jackson megamix that the radio station was playing, as well as a Texas-sized iced cinnamon roll. So as we speak, Im getting some backup files on my MP3 player until I got a chance to go buy a new drive. Whats making me mad now is the computer wants to go up & down on downloading times for certain documents (and music but dont tell no one lol), but with some, the download would freeze up on part, then would say complete when I know its not done downloading. May have to check this computer if its a firewall thats doing this.

But going running this morning, They had some stuff set up almost fair style downtown. Then I saw on the front of the newspaper that it was Bikers Weekend & they were going to have festivities downtown. But something caught my eye: Fried Oreos!!! Its the first time I've seen this, but If I perhaps trying it, Im going to run this off instantly. I also somehow saw that the local sex shop is having a tent set up, its covered all around for now, but I wonder if they gonna have some black pornos out there to sell lol.

But there was a story in the newspaper that I saw that I cant get out my mind. A woman has been arrested because she stabbed her live-in boyfriend, the news didnt release her age but the live-in boyfriend is 50 years old. From what the article said, she said that she & a friend was driving around at about 1-3am in the morning. He friend told the police the same story & even did a written/signed statement. But when the police talked to the boyfriend, he said that he was sitting on the bed, and she just walked in & stabbed him. So what happen was the friend first got arrested for giving a false statement, out on bail but could face up to 6 yrs in prison. Now w/ the main woman, the police tried to get to her, when they went to her house, she seemed to never be at home or would never open the door. They ended up catching her because one day, her daughter opened the door & the police went in & arrested her. They said that the woman could get up to 20 yrs for the stabbing. But maybe its just me, but you a 50 yr old man now living in your girlfriend's house?? Im thinking there may have been an argument of some type, she might have been tired of him. Im hoping by 50, I would at least have my own home to go to, married??? Dont know if its in the cards. But this is why Im neglected to move in w/ a girlfriend w/o getting married first, it may work, but it may not, but this is one of the reasons I want to get my own before getting into a relationship.

But Im out, may look for something to get into tonight.

Not Snitching??

Last night, I ended up watching this movie called Nothing But The Truth. It had an All-star cast including Kate Bekingsale, Matt Dillon, Angela Bassett, and a few other people. It was about this woman who worked as a journalist who gets a scoop & produces an article that reveals an undercover CIA agent. She promises her "source" that she would let their name out, but then a prosecutor goes after her & puts her behind bars for not saying where she have gotten the name of the agent from. With her as a reporter & believing in confidentiality, she risk being put behind bars so she would not give the name, while the government wanted her source so they can see who is ousting agents in the CIA. During the movie, you could see the people that was affected by her being in jail. Her bosses were behind her because she did her job & she was up for a Pultzer for the article, but she had a husband & son that was suffering, even where the husband strayed because of it. I didn't know who this source was until the very end of the movie, and when I saw who it was, I was really questioning Was it really worth it to go through all that??? This was a real good movie, dont know if I'll buy it, but it waorth the watch that one time. But it does bring up a major question: If someone you knew had a secret & you found out, would you hold on to it, even if it means torture or losing certain things in life just because you are quiet??

But yeah, today has been good. I actually have done some work for a management position at my job. They gave me some links to do some assessments yet Im having one link Im having problems getting into. But Im good overall. May be a lil down because the sun & heat was back out & realize that I'm about to run out of Gatorades in my crib, I bought 20 of them from the Krogers by my job at a discounted price about 2 weeks ago. But Im deciding to spoil myself a bit & cop this Reel People's Golden Lady album today, I know it came out back in April, but I'm just hearing about this group, heard some tracks before, so I thought the album would be worth buying, so Im checking it out. But let me get out of here, bout to check out this NBA Draft, want to see what Memphis & Dallas gonna do this year in it. Hopefully Friday I'll write something a lil longer.